Sorry For The Delay | EP.82
Chapters
00:00Introduction and First World Problems
03:01Housekeeping Corner and Updates
05:54Global Selfie Day and Selfie Reactions
08:57Exploring Alternate Realities Through Photos
18:35Character Stats Breakdown
24:25Selfie Day Celebrations
29:40Restaurant Limits and Expectations
38:50The End of Humanity: Cosmic vs. Earthly Threats
42:20The Threat of Cataclysmic Events
45:05Fire Festival 2.0: A Cautionary Tale
48:57Katy Perry's Ground-Kissing Controversy
55:59Fun Finds and Fortunes
Sound Bites
"I'm having first world problems."
"Dishwashers are not cheap."
"The songs, they are bangers."
"If Joshua was a wizard."
"I'm sitting at 74 hit points."
"Happy Global Selfie Day!"
"I found a bolt in my food!"
"We're on a galactic pool table."
"Jupiter is our big brother."
"Nobody wants to just blow it up."
"Katy Perry kissed the ground."
"Does she deserve all the flack?"
Transcript
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (00:54.005)
Hello and welcome to another episode Sorry for the Delay. We are your hosts. My name is Sean. This is Joshua and Joshua, like every week, how are you today?
Not Drake's Josh (01:12.942)
How am I doing? How am doing? Well, to start it off, I'm having some first world problems. Sean. I'm having... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't tell you this before we hopped on to record, but I'm having first world problems. And when I mean first world problems, I mean my dishwasher broke.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:15.583)
Yeah, how you doing?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:20.078)
no. no.
Not Drake's Josh (01:36.706)
So.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:36.747)
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Do you use your dishwasher as a dishwasher? okay, just making sure.
Not Drake's Josh (01:43.023)
Yeah, I do. completely use... Well, you know, don't throw my dishes in there covered in shit. You know what mean? I still clean things off and use it a garbage disposal like I use it the proper way. But over the weekend, we noticed that it wasn't draining. So we started YouTubeing how to run the draining cycle and all this. it basically seems like the pump went out because the water does not drain from the dishwasher. So it's kind of a...
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:50.553)
like last week. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (02:09.794)
fucked up situation I'm in right now because dishwashers are not cheap and I don't this guy does not have the money to be paying for a new dishwasher so it's kind of a first-world problem I'm having right now
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:13.259)
Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:22.023)
okay. Well, are you fixing it? Is it working? Did you fix it?
Not Drake's Josh (02:25.024)
I'm currently washing my own dishes by hand, if that's what you mean by fixing it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:28.203)
So, it is not fixed. You are still in the process of fixing. Got it? Understood. Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (02:34.638)
Yeah, it's literally in the garage in pieces and I'm just hoping I know how to put it back together. Like I just took things apart. Yeah, I pulled the old like Tim Allen. Sorry to age myself, you know, home improvement. You know, I just break shit, take shit apart and just doesn't know how put the yeah, just just so we're going to see what happens when I try to put this thing back to us by a new one or you know what I even thought about just like fuck the dishwasher. Maybe I just put like a little mini fridge in there, you know, a little wine cooler, a little just just get rid of.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:38.804)
my god. my god.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:44.715)
Mm-hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:50.279)
jeez buddy. Eugh. Okay.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (02:56.907)
Mm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (03:01.515)
a little mini fridge? That'd be cool.
Not Drake's Josh (03:04.716)
Yeah, just get rid of the dishwasher. People don't use dishwashers all the time, so maybe I'll just do that. don't know. I'm open to suggestions. They're just expensive, so.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (03:11.627)
Okay. Okay. They are expensive, buddy. I'm sorry, dude. That sucks. That honestly sucks. I mean, as somebody who occasionally forgets to load the dishwasher, I completely understand a broken dishwasher. So, yeah, I get you, man. I'm sorry, dude. That sucks. Well, hopefully you can fix it. Maybe somebody in the audience is gonna guide you through the repair or they can point you in a direction, you know? Maybe Chet GPT can figure that out for you.
Not Drake's Josh (03:26.606)
Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (03:37.504)
That'd be nice.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (03:40.747)
I mean, did you did you go to chat GPT to get an answer like to get some help? You should have so you should have
Not Drake's Josh (03:40.782)
That'd be nice. mean, YouTube, I've done a YouTube review this, but...
No, no, no. I mean, the only reason I use chat these days is because I don't have a lot of friends. I just use it as my friend to somebody to talk to when I'm alone. So that's how I use chat. No. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (03:53.779)
bro, me too bro, me too, me too. I feel you. Yeah, same z's. Anyways, all right, well, I'm sorry. Let us know what happens with that. Give us an update on if you fix that next week. Other than that, Joshua, what is in your cup this week?
Not Drake's Josh (04:11.054)
What is it my cup Sean don't be mad at me don't be mad at me and the listeners the watchers just just just don't Sean loves no, I'm actually out of buccan is I'm gonna throw it out there right now. I'm out of buccan is no I I Know right it just kind of rolls and it has a really good flavor So if you're listening you're new here, just try the buccan as it has really good flavor. It's good to mix with it It's good stuff. But today what is in my cup? I just kept it simple because it's episode 82. We're just having fun. It's April 22nd
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (04:13.257)
What is in your cup buddy? What are you drinking? It's buccanus!
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (04:22.233)
okay. I just like saying it, it's just fun.
Not Drake's Josh (04:41.112)
So we're keeping it simple. We're just gonna go with Jack and Coke, everybody. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (04:41.663)
Woohoo!
nice! Okay, very cool. Cheers buddy, hell yeah. You know, I was thinking about doing that same exact fucking thing today, which is kind of funny to me. Just a little bit of Jack and Coke. But I decided to go with my personal staple and I am keeping it simple as well, buddy. I'm just doing the classic cold water Mai Tai. Not sponsored, but hey, I'll take your cans, baby. I'll take them. It's delicious.
Not Drake's Josh (04:53.528)
That'd been cool.
Not Drake's Josh (05:03.938)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (05:08.362)
There I mean there is another fun reason why did Jack and coke? Because later in the episode you'll figure out why I'll I'm hinting at it now, but it'll make sense later. I gotta pay homage to My buddy Jack and the coke here, so it'll make sense later when we get there. So stay tuned. Yeah, it'll make sense
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (05:24.267)
All right Wonderful. All right before we move on Joshua suggests that I do this in the beginning of the episode instead of the end of the episode So Joshua, I'm gonna introduce us to a new corner here. This is gonna be our housekeeping corner So let's get all the housekeeping out of the way at the beginning of the episode So if this is your first time listening My name is Sean. This is Joshua the guy who's not talking
Not Drake's Josh (05:38.241)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (05:41.998)
Perfect.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (05:53.163)
Currently at the moment because if you're maybe listening, but in the housekeeping corner, there is some stuff We need to talk about number one on the housekeeping corner list Sorry for the delayed out live is the website where you can find a transcript of this episode and past episodes so if you enjoy reading really long novels or Maybe you want the uncut version of this podcast that didn't
Not Drake's Josh (05:54.115)
Yeah, this guy.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (06:22.289)
show up anywhere right you can only get that on sorry for the delayed out live also on that website is a little search bar on the bottom of the website where you can search for anything really and if we've talked about it it'll be there and you can click it and find the episode that we talked about it in and you know send us some hard emojis and shit like that but yes sorry for the delayed out live you can find a whole bunch of stuff including
AI radio, is our AI radio, which is songs that we've created throughout this podcast life. well, I guess not the entirety of it, but most of it, and we have up to 31 tracks, Joshua, which is pretty damn cool.
Not Drake's Josh (07:10.498)
Yeah, and I just want to interject here real quick while you're doing this housekeeping. The songs, they are bangers. So if you haven't heard any of them, I challenge you to go to the website, look it up. There's a lot of work put into those and they're fucking really, really good and they're fun to listen to. And there's a genre for everybody. So please stop into the website and take a look at those and enjoy it they're really good. They're really, really good.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (07:12.395)
Sure. Thank you. need a breath.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (07:28.825)
yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (07:38.027)
Yeah, it's wonderful. All right. Item number two on the housekeeping thing, and then we'll get into the meat and potatoes or whatever you want to call it. Uh, merchandise. need to give a quick update on that. ladies and gentlemen, I have finalized all the colors. I have finalized all the shirt qualities. I've finalized the providers that we're going to go through for these shirts. Um, we have to test the backend.
this process and that'll be something that Joshua and I do later this month, but once that happens we're gonna be clear for takeoff and Merch will be starting to roll out. This is the final design in what I'm calling the OG set of designs. So if you've been watching throughout the weeks you've been seeing a lot of these logos and stuff like that. Joshua has one on his screen right now which is the flameboat one.
This is the alien drinking, which is really cool and really fun. So there's your merchandise update. Be on the ready. It's going to happen relatively soon. I think that is all I have in the housekeeping section. I reserve the right to explain more if I remember stuff later, but I probably won't or Mia can explain some stuff too. Yeah. also Mia, if you, if you are listening, thank you for your service. I appreciate you.
Not Drake's Josh (08:57.324)
Or Mia. Mia can cut some stuff into, yeah. Our lovely editor.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (09:05.707)
Anyways, Joshua, let us move on. Let us let's dive on into the chat with this section or whatever you want to dive into, buddy. Hey, I'm ready. My body's ready.
Not Drake's Josh (09:06.252)
I know, right? Thank you.
Yes, sir.
dive on into it. Hey we're gonna have fun right now.
Not Drake's Josh (09:19.498)
I know it's it's gonna be fun. Stay tuned. Here we go everybody. We're in this is going to be a good one. I promise it's gonna get interesting here real quick.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (09:25.963)
scared. Okay.
Okay, well, here are the topics that Joshua has for the week. The first one is, does that say global selfie day?
Not Drake's Josh (09:38.555)
it's- it's supposed to say global unless I fucked that spelling up, but yeah, that's what it's supposed to say.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (09:43.251)
Okay, no, I mean, I kind of it's kind of blurry for me. So I'm trying to read it. So I'm just making sure I wasn't making fun of you and the way you're spelling. Yes, it is. We're not the best.
Not Drake's Josh (09:46.679)
Okay. No, well, spelling is a thing for us. Just throwing it out there if it's your first time listening. Yes, spelling and the words. Halfway through this, the words will start to fall apart too, so just stay tuned for that too.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (09:58.299)
yeah, yeah. the second one is, where is the limit? that's one I gave Joshua, which is fun. the one after that is home space C. Okay. I also gave Joshua that one. I'm acting like I didn't, but I gave him that one. And the, the last one is fire flop 2.0. Is that what that says? Okay. Got it.
Not Drake's Josh (10:02.638)
Curious, curious, it's gonna be fun.
Not Drake's Josh (10:10.455)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (10:14.254)
He did, he did.
Not Drake's Josh (10:20.686)
2.0. Yep. Fireflop 2.0 everybody.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (10:25.393)
Interesting. Okay. Curious. Curiouser and curiouser.
Not Drake's Josh (10:26.914)
Mm-hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (10:30.61)
Yeah, it's gonna get good. It's going to get good. So hang in hanging Well, if you made it this far, know, we like to do these holidays or observance that you just shit to have fun with So today on April 22nd happens to be global Selfie day. So I know everybody out there has taken a selfie. We love to do it me not so much Sean not so much
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (10:33.769)
He says this and it makes me worried. I'm scared.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (10:52.658)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (11:00.226)
But today on global selfie day, had to take a few selfies and I had a little fun with it, Sean. But in order to show this to you, Sean, and the listeners, you're gonna, if you want to view this, cause it's gonna get fun, cause I gotta get some reactions here. I'm waiting for the comment. Just lay it on, just lay it on. This is gonna be fun. I gotta slide over to a different room for this. Okay, Sean, follow me. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (11:11.691)
sure. Yeah. my god, I'm so scared.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (11:25.975)
he made a specific room. Okay. I'm ready. my God. What is this? Okay. Hang on. Hang on. let me explain this to the listeners. If you are listening, let me just say, sorry for the delayed out live, come out over here and check this shit out. this is a cartoon muscular man holding a phone as if he's taking a selfie, with
Not Drake's Josh (11:33.262)
You
Not Drake's Josh (11:37.454)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (11:54.313)
what appears to be my face cut out into his face. Thank you for giving me a beard. Appreciate that. Really nice. Okay. I'm scared right now. Also, where did you get these pictures?
Not Drake's Josh (11:57.967)
Yes, yeah, yeah, that is,
So Sean yeah, so Sean this is again you're gonna have to slide over to YouTube and see this Sean took this picture of himself What one of the times I went up to Seattle I asked him to take a picture of me and my girlfriend and what and he just the whole time I thought he was taking a picture of us Lo and behold I grabbed my phone and he's just over here snapping pics of himself So this is one of the pictures that Sean had snapped of himself. So
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (12:19.211)
Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (12:36.312)
Sean, thank you for that. That... Yeah. So this is the only selfie I literally have on my phone of Sean. So I thought I'd get... You know, I think it's a pretty good likeness. Not gonna lie. You know? Yeah. The hair on the chest and the chain. mean, Sean rocks all that, so...
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (12:36.491)
I remember this at all. I don't remember any of that happening. So cannot confirm nor deny. So.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (12:49.659)
I think it works. made me nice and buff. I appreciate that.
I I have no hair in my chest but you know I'll rock a chain any day baby bring it on.
Not Drake's Josh (13:01.934)
There you go. Alright, so again, global selfie day. That's Sean's selfie. Let me lay a few on here that I took of myself and I just want a few reactions. just want to, Sean, did I capture the selfie properly in this first selfie here? I just, I just want to know if this captures my finest features, if it really hits the spot with this selfie, Sean, you ready? Okay.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (13:06.475)
Thank you.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (13:14.827)
When Joshua does things like this, it worries me.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (13:25.737)
Okay. All right. I'm focused. I'm ready. it on.
Not Drake's Josh (13:30.488)
Do you need a drink before I hit the button here? Cause we have buttons. Yeah. You might want to, I'll take a little sip. Okay. Let me know when, me, let me know when. Okay. Here we go. Sean, I need your opinion. Does this at all capture me?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (13:32.959)
Yeah, probably. Hang on. me get a little... There you go. So wet the palette, you know? Get ready. I'm ready. Buss it. Yeah.
You
This photo is a selfie of Joshua if he had really tiny eyes and really big eyebrows.
Not Drake's Josh (13:50.478)
Come on. Come on.
Not Drake's Josh (14:00.079)
I these eyes are kinda... Come on, look at it. I kinda look... Doesn't it sorta look like me?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (14:04.457)
I yeah, yeah, I could see it. could definitely see it. You know, I mean, your eyes are kind of small anyway, so it does kind of add to that. You know, you're just accentuating your features. So I get it. I definitely see you in the honestly, honestly, I don't even think that's edited at all. I think that's actually you.
Not Drake's Josh (14:09.027)
you
Not Drake's Josh (14:17.646)
I mean.
Not Drake's Josh (14:22.03)
So is that pretty close did I hit it did I hit it okay? I mean I the bottom lip I mean I got a big bottom lip too So I mean I thought I thought I captured that pretty well alright, so did I hit it? Did you okay with this one?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (14:28.361)
It's pretty close. Pretty close, buddy. Pretty close.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (14:33.673)
You do got a big bottom lip. Yeah. You did. Good job, man. Good job. Yeah. Yeah. I give you a probably on this one, I'd give you an eight, eight out of 10. I like it. Eight out of 10 selfie sticks.
Not Drake's Josh (14:46.322)
I got a few of these selfies again, so if you're listening slide over to YouTube check them out. Alright, the next one for you Sean. I need to know did I capture did I capture my likeness?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (14:52.383)
Yep, I'm ready.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (14:57.543)
Hahaha
great this is great this is if Joshua was a wizard he has a or a witch maybe but he has like a witch hat on so I'm gonna say he's like a wizard but he's got the the wizard hats he's got the long beard it's beautiful actually this one this one makes me happy so I would say this one solid I'm gonna give it an 8.5 selfie sticks out of 10 yeah
Not Drake's Josh (15:20.364)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (15:25.678)
Yeah, so this is supposed to be me in magic world so if I existed in another universe Yeah, we're going through the universe here. So this is me in magic world. Yeah Okay
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (15:32.144)
world.
Hang on, wait a minute. Can we take a pause for a moment? Can I take a pause? You brought something up to my mind here, which I want to just kind of throw off here. What if, right? I'm just, I know I'm doing it for the clickbait. what if photos like this were actually alternate realities? You know, what if, because you've created this photo, there is now a real you in this image, you know?
Not Drake's Josh (15:41.422)
Great place to pause by the way, right? Great.
Not Drake's Josh (15:56.142)
Hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (16:05.325)
Hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (16:05.739)
How amazing would that be? And also how scary a lot of the photos people have made would be. You know what I mean?
Not Drake's Josh (16:13.516)
So this is what you're saying is this is a window into another universe. That's what photos are
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (16:17.075)
Yes, yes, that's exactly what I'm Just a crackpot theory there. Just a little conspiracy theory, if you will. anyways.
Not Drake's Josh (16:23.886)
I like that.
Not Drake's Josh (16:28.492)
Yeah, we I mean we can go down that rabbit hole in another episode our photos a window and into another universe, you know, because it's got to regenerate, you know, so that could be a thing. No. No, that was good. I like that. I like that for some of the people for the people to think about, You know, all the pictures they've ever taken. Good positions, bad compromising positions. I mean, that's just what you know, what are we doing?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (16:33.279)
Yeah, be cool to think about. Mm-hmm. Yeah, who says they're not?
Sorry, I didn't want to take it. I just wanted to kind bring that up. So, you go for it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (16:49.653)
Yeah? Right?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (16:55.881)
You know, it kind of reminds me just one last tangent real quick. It kind of reminds me of when people lose their loved ones, but they have them on Google Maps. You know, it's it's like looking into a different dimension, right? A different time period, a different frame of reference, right? I know. It's just it's just just kind of trippy to think about if you wanted to look at it that way. We say a lot of that, but most most of the time we we don't.
Not Drake's Josh (17:05.774)
Hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (17:16.002)
Yeah, we'll go down that rabbit hole again. I promise. I promise everybody. We'll get there again.
Not Drake's Josh (17:24.76)
Okay, well, okay. So Sean, okay, did I get it? Did we get it? Did we figure that out?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (17:25.963)
We'll see. Anyways. Yeah, you got the 8.5 out of 10 selfie sticks on this one. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (17:34.592)
Okay, okay. All right. On to the next one. I need to know. John? How'd I do?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (17:38.059)
I'm I'm ready. Yep. my, my. Okay. This is if Joshua appears to be in a video game, but like a real like, I don't even know how to describe this one, but it's, he's like leather pants, devil horns, like neon pink devil horns with stats bar on there. can't see what the stats are, so I'm assuming that they're not good.
Not Drake's Josh (18:04.782)
I'll break the stats down for you when you're done. Yeah, when you're done breaking down I'm I'm kind of sad the way that the way I was generated in this and no matter how many times I regenerated this it didn't get any better actually got worse. So Yeah
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (18:07.787)
Sure.
Okay, he's also wearing what looks to be like a leather like almost trench coat with a weird like techno ish design That's interesting definitely just I'm like just right off the bat dresser I'm giving this one like a six six selfie sticks out of ten. I'm not it's not my favorite What are the stats on this?
Not Drake's Josh (18:26.926)
I
Not Drake's Josh (18:35.062)
Alright, alright, so this is this is AI made me as a character right here So this would be if I was a care. I've been playing a lot of video games lately So when I did this filter, I was like, this is actually pretty sick Let's see what let's see how I would fare in the the character world right in the video game world or whatever So I'm gonna break it down for you Sean Tell me at the end of this right? I'm breaking them all down for you I'm guessing this is out of a hundred because if it's not I fucking don't know what they're basing this off of
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (18:51.327)
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
God.
Not Drake's Josh (19:03.064)
So my hit points, I'm sitting at 74.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (19:07.211)
That's pretty strong. we're going off of 174 hit points, kind of strong.
Not Drake's Josh (19:12.03)
Got it. Okay. Okay my strength. I'm sitting at 38 That's that's I Mean, I don't know what the horns are for if I don't have any strength in those horns, but okay Thank you for that my intellect. I'm sitting at 70
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (19:17.459)
Mmm, a little bit below average, but you're not the worst.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (19:30.057)
Okay, also kinda high, so that's good. You're smart.
Not Drake's Josh (19:34.094)
This one's kind of depressing right here, this next one. I don't know about this next stat. mean, did it hit it? And maybe it did, but my stamina, Sean, I'm sitting at 20. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (19:42.643)
my God, okay. So you're smart. You're... What was it? You can attack pretty hard, but you're... You have no lasting effects. Like you can't last in the ring, you know?
Not Drake's Josh (19:55.023)
Yeah Jesus that's kind of sad isn't it? Whoo I need it I need to pick up my stamina game apparently something about this face says no stamina we're gonna yeah
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (20:00.971)
That's a little sad.
Hey, but maybe you maybe you use your intellect to, you know, keep your stamina from going all the way down, you know, maybe that's what that is. That translates into that.
Not Drake's Josh (20:14.318)
okay I mean maybe yeah that could work yeah okay thank you for pumping that up for me because I was feeling kind of sad when I saw that two more luck sitting at 65
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (20:21.653)
You're welcome, Of course. Okay. Okay. Above average. Perfect.
Not Drake's Josh (20:30.76)
And the final one, Charisma, I'm sitting at 87.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (20:35.349)
Damn, you're charisma is fuck. But, so you can't last in the bedroom, but you can definitely charm them there. All right, I like it. I like it.
Not Drake's Josh (20:37.663)
Mm-hmm.
Got it Jesus if that wasn't so true in my real life, god damn it Jesus, alright, I'm ready to move on from this one. Alright, John. Here's the next one
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (20:53.707)
Alright.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (20:57.385)
my God, what is this? What is this right now? I don't even describe this. This is if you were looking into a old C.T. TV and you paused it during like a a weird like fashion commercial. Joshua is as a weird floof cut haircut. He's rocking an orange. Like.
Not Drake's Josh (20:59.138)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (21:27.355)
long like half sleeve. It's like it's a half sleeve shirt. There's orange on the chest portion in a square and then it's like just a different shade of orange. Yeah, he has his hands on his side chest pumped out. This this is okay. the caption says as a Hollywood star in the 70s. So there you go.
Not Drake's Josh (21:28.062)
He can't even get it out, folks. He can't. Yes.
Not Drake's Josh (21:40.354)
like lean back pelvis out.
Not Drake's Josh (21:52.793)
There you go. was gonna break. I was gonna say that. Yeah, I was gonna. Perfect. With no stamina, apparently. Didn't last long. No pun intended.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (21:54.729)
Yeah, that's the best way to describe what Joshua is doing right now. He's like an old 70s porn star in this in this photo and no, no stamina. Exactly. I mean, Joshua, I would give this one. Give it a seven. I'll give it a seven, seven selfie sticks at a 10 on this one.
Not Drake's Josh (22:16.013)
Okay, okay this next one Sean I think you're gonna love You may have seen this one, but I think you're really good really really gonna love this one Okay
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (22:24.363)
I think I've been waiting for this one. I think I've been waiting for this one. I'm ready.
okay. This is a little different. Okay Joshua sent me this one. This is Joshua as a pirate But he sent me a way better one. The one you sent me was way better than this one this one I'm giving like I'm giving this one and it's a pirate So I'm giving it like a seven point five selfie sticks, but the one you sent me before That one was like a ten out of ten buddy. That was a ten out of ten selfie of you this one You're kind of just you can't just look like
Not Drake's Josh (22:43.404)
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (22:51.612)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (22:59.263)
Like you're just like the scallywag, you know, you're not the captain of the ship. You're just like the the ship's like fuck boy, you know, like.
Not Drake's Josh (22:59.566)
You
Not Drake's Josh (23:07.278)
You know what's funny? I was going to message you and I was going to ask you for that one but I was like, no I don't want to give it away. Not that you would have known what it was, but I was just like, you know what, let me just run this and have some fun with it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (23:17.097)
You know, I would, I will say this when you sent me that I kind of figured something was up because like you stated earlier, Joshua doesn't really take selfies. So when Joshua takes, when he sends you selfies, there's, there's something going on and I didn't want to say anything because I was just like, was just like, I'm going to let him cook. I'm going to let him cook and Joshua, you cooked overall. I I'm giving this performance and present presentation, 10 selfie sticks out of 10.
Not Drake's Josh (23:26.324)
No, I don't. I really don't.
Not Drake's Josh (23:43.311)
And again, I said I was gonna build up to it, because I love Pirates of the Caribbean, that was my homage to Jack Sparrow and pouring up a good old Jack and Coke, man, with the old Pirates of Jack and Coke.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (23:57.611)
Got it, okay, makes sense. Oh, thought for a second, I thought you said Pornhub and I was confused. I was like, whoa, I don't think that's the way that goes. All right, buddy, let's move on.
Not Drake's Josh (24:04.319)
yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (24:13.326)
Well, Sean, there you go. Happy Global Selfie Day, And if anybody else wants to share selfies with us, I don't know how they would do it. I don't know if you could do it through the DMs or whatever, but we'd love to see some selfies of people. I don't know how they would give it to us, but that would be pretty fun.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (24:17.451)
Thank you, buddy, thank you.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (24:25.823)
Yeah. I mean, send us some DMs on the Instagram. Sorry for the delay pod. I think it's our Instagram handle. Go to the website, go to sorry for the delay dot live. You can find the Instagram handle and all that shit.
Not Drake's Josh (24:35.404)
I think that'd be fun to put up.
There's like 50 of you subscribers right now. So that would be fun to have some selfies of a few of you. That would be fun. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (24:42.249)
Yeah, yeah, just show us your weirdest selfies. That's that seems I don't know if I want that. God anyway, Joshua, this topic is called Where is the Limit? So let me give a little back story to this, right? I love eating food is delicious. Who doesn't write who doesn't?
Not Drake's Josh (24:51.404)
Yeah, send them all to Sean, please.
You
Not Drake's Josh (24:59.766)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (25:08.855)
Agreed.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (25:10.291)
I love going to restaurants. It's expensive. I get it. Not a lot of people do it, but Joshua, the question I have for you in this is where is your limit in terms of what are you going to put up with for like a restaurant? Let me give an example here. I know it's kind of confusing the way I stated that. So here's a real life example of what I mean. The first time.
Not Drake's Josh (25:31.894)
No, no, no, I'm on board.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (25:39.731)
One of the first times I came up here to Seattle, I went to a restaurant. I'm not going to say the restaurant. I'm not going to tell you what kind of food it was. Went to a restaurant. It sit-down restaurant, of course. Got served a plate of food. Was consuming the food. Found a bolt in my food, Joshua. A literal bolt. All right. It was probably maybe an inch and a half wide.
by probably like a quarter of an inch thick. was a pretty decent size bolt in my food. Joshua, I, yeah. No, this is, this was like a brand new bolt, right? Brand new bolt, like something happened and there was a bolt in my food. Joshua, do you think I said anything about the bolt?
Not Drake's Josh (26:13.314)
What was that? Was the bolt? wait, can I ask if the bolt like rusty? Did it look like a like an old bolt?
Not Drake's Josh (26:30.062)
knowing, okay, Sean's very particular about restaurants and I needless to say, should I even say tipping and the quality of service he receives upon going into an establishment. So I think he's going to base what he says based on the establishment that he goes into. So if this was a fairly
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (26:43.529)
Mm-hmm, exactly. He's not wrong.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (26:53.059)
yeah. yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (26:55.404)
I don't want to say cause obviously if it was a five star, you'd probably say something, but if it was just some, some dirty boot hole in the wall, you know what I mean? Like they don't even offer napkins, you know, wipe your own face on your sleeve and shit, you know, kind of those places you probably wouldn't say something. But if it's at least like a three and a half stars are worth leaving a comment on Yelp for, I say, yeah, you probably did say something.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (27:05.61)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (27:19.305)
Alright, no Joshua, I didn't say anything. Here's the reason. The food was sensational. I didn't give a fuck what was on that plate other than the food. It was so damn good that I looked away at that bolt. I said, that's just extra seasoning. Doesn't fucking matter. Service was great. Their margaritas, sorry, didn't want to spoil that, but it was delicious.
Not Drake's Josh (27:27.992)
Jesus.
Not Drake's Josh (27:48.408)
I serve those everywhere, so it's fine. You can give it away by saying margarita, you're good.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (27:48.917)
All right.
So for me, if a restaurant has great service and great food, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things. I have one more example, Joshua, that I don't think I've told the old lady about because it just happened recently. So I'll just make it quick. We went to a breakfast place for the first time and I was served a mimosa in a plastic wine glass, right?
First of all, not the biggest fan of plastic wine glasses, because they're, you know, just feels weird texture thing for me.
Not Drake's Josh (28:26.446)
I mean, clearly they don't care about the environment either. They're using plastic. So, I mean...
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (28:29.663)
No, no, no. Joshua, plastic is also prone to holding stains, right? It's kind of hard to clean, especially in a situation like that where you're kind of like going through it over and over again. So Joshua, I got halfway through my mimosa and I realized that there was still lipstick on the actual glass. The plastic cup that I was served still had lipstick from the previous patron.
Not Drake's Josh (28:37.614)
Bacteria.
Not Drake's Josh (28:44.259)
Mm-hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (28:58.294)
And I'm guessing you weren't wearing lipstick. Just, I just want to make it clear. Like you just for the listeners, for the listener, I mean, just have to, okay.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (29:00.811)
I would unfortunately I was not wearing lipstick that day. Unfortunately. Yeah, it was also not my shade of lipstick if I was wearing lipstick that day. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for clarifying for the listeners. Appreciate that. Joshua. I did not send that Mosa back because that Mosa was a delicious motherfucking Mosa. So I am willing to put up with a lot of things in the terms of.
Not Drake's Josh (29:09.154)
Making sure. Let's be fair.
Yeah, that's you there.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (29:29.503)
good food and good service, which is exactly what I had that day. that being said, long winded, where is your limit?
Not Drake's Josh (29:40.174)
Should I say my limit now or should we get into? Okay, all right. right. It's thought we might give the people something to listen to. Before I give my monologue about where is the limit for me.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (29:43.069)
No, you can set your limit now. We'll get to the AI song after that.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (29:55.179)
And do you okay? You want you want me to we can do it. We can put the people on hold. If you want to put the people on hold. I got a banger that's cooking up right now and I'm ready to play it. So
Not Drake's Josh (30:00.099)
Yeah, I mean.
Not Drake's Josh (30:04.972)
I mean, because I got something to say. Just got to stay tuned.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (30:08.119)
you really do you really have something to say on this one? I am I'm amazed. Well, if this is your first time listening to this podcast, hey, welcome. Congratulations. You found us. You made it. You're one of the successful ones. We do this thing called A.I. radio. And that is A.I. makes music using our prompts in our lyrics. So. It is like a.
Not Drake's Josh (30:11.202)
Definitely. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (30:36.075)
75 % AI and 25 % us, you know, which is still technically, I guess, right? In terms of like copyrights and stuff. But anyways, I have another track for us today, Joshua. This one is, I don't, I always say they're all bangers, but I listened to this one a lot today and I just kept listening to it.
This one is called Beachfront Galaxy. And I'll go ahead and share my screen with Joshua and share my screen with the people watching. You can see what I see and you can hear what I hear. But if you want to listen to this song, actually, we're going to listen to the song in its entirety. It's only two and a half minutes long. So we're just going to listen to it right here, right now. But here it is, Beachfront Galaxy. On a sorry for the delay, Joshua, I hope you're ready.
because here we go.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (31:55.509)
Beautiful.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (34:03.947)
There you go, Joshua. There is your track for the week inspired by the shirt that I'm wearing this week. You know, that's got a alien chilling on the beach drinking some tiki drinks, So yeah, you have fun with that one? Oh yeah. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (34:11.022)
Hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (34:17.634)
I like it. I like it. We like tiki drinks. We like to I love being on the beach. I mean, anything to put me in the mood to be on the beach is I'm going listen to it every time. Loud.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (34:25.813)
Mm-hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (34:30.534)
Also, those of you listening, Joshua had a light show going on this week with that song, which was pretty freaking cool. know, nice little touch on that one. Real fun. Real fun to see. Now Joshua, give the people what they've been waiting for. Your limit.
Not Drake's Josh (34:39.352)
Did I?
Not Drake's Josh (34:42.894)
You
Not Drake's Josh (34:49.74)
Okay, my limit when it comes to food and restaurants, I think like I said in the beginning of it I think you have to evaluate where you are eating at in order to judge them appropriately Right because if you're expecting somebody that can barely afford gas But they have like a taco truck to serve you like food. That's not gonna have some You know, maybe like a short and curly in it or something extra that you maybe didn't order in it like
It's kind of, got to think about it, man. So.
I guess if I'm at a place like you're at, you know, you were at a really nice restaurant, I probably would have said something. Honestly, I mean, when you find a bolt in your food, I mean, that to me is like a free meal.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (35:26.667)
Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (35:34.187)
Hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (35:41.537)
yeah, definitely. It definitely would have been a free meal for sure.
Not Drake's Josh (35:42.339)
like.
Not Drake's Josh (35:45.708)
So I mean, I kind of think you should have said something, but I do have to ask, did you, did your tip get adjusted because of the bolt? Did you, did you like.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (35:57.063)
If I remember correctly, I think it did. Yes. If I, think I, yeah, I think I tipped, I think I tipped just 15%, which I usually tip at least 20, in special occasions more, but yeah, I think I just did 15 on that one. So yeah, I did it.
Not Drake's Josh (36:16.28)
So what I would have done if I was with you, here's what I would have done. When that tip came around, here's what I would have done. I would have taken that bolt, I would have put it right next to the tip line, drawn a circle around it and like put like a little arrow and like drawn the dollar amount and said, this is why or thank you, but maybe next time don't add the bolt.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (36:31.339)
you
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (36:40.651)
A little bit of passive aggressiveness. Okay, I feel that. I feel that.
Not Drake's Josh (36:44.386)
I mean people gotta know, know, like if if an estate if a place is gonna get better They kind of have to know that their shit shit's ended up in their food, you know Maybe they got a piece of equipment in the back that's breaking and they needed that bolt like so
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (36:56.724)
You
Yeah, maybe. You know, I vaguely remember leaving the bolt in the middle of the empty plate. So maybe that maybe maybe that gave him a right. Yeah, they're probably confused as fuck. And then three weeks later, the machine broke or some shit.
Not Drake's Josh (37:06.754)
They probably thought you were the asshole like why this dude leave the book like
Not Drake's Josh (37:16.526)
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's kind of a weird thing because if you call, if you call like a restaurant out on their food, you're worried that they're going to do something to your food. And we've all had stories about people. mean, I've known people that have worked at places and literally have like done the thing that you see in it. What's the movie waiting where they spit people's food or they throw shit on the ground. Like I know people that have done that.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (37:39.339)
Mmm.
Not Drake's Josh (37:43.139)
You know, like after the fact like years ago, like I mean, didn't happen anytime recently. So I think I'm kind of excluded from knowing about it and stuff and they don't work there anymore. Like, but they were, you know, they did tell me these stories. So it's kind of always a nervous thing. If you just tell somebody that you found some shit in your food, you know, it's kind of like, they going to fuck with your food next time you go there or whatever? But I think, I think higher, like if it's a really nice place, you probably should tell them and you probably would have got free food out of it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (37:50.315)
you
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (38:11.403)
Oh yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um, I mean, that's just my limit, man. That's like, like I will do anything for good food and good service, you know? But I feel, I feel you're right. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (38:13.55)
Ahem.
Not Drake's Josh (38:21.73)
I mean, not that you want free food, I mean, like you didn't want, don't, you're not going there to get free food. You're not the person that breaking up glass and putting it in their food on purpose. You're not scamming people. You're not doing that. You know, you're just being honest about it. There's nothing wrong with that.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (38:26.623)
Yeah, I'm not going there like, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, facts. I feel you. All right, buddy, let's move on. Well, I'm glad you would have. That's why you're my knight in shining armor.
Not Drake's Josh (38:38.188)
So would I say something? Yes, I probably would have. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (38:47.51)
Alright John, you came up with this one man. I'm curious. Where we going?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (38:50.187)
I did give you this one, This one's kind of quick because I figured the other one was gonna be kind of long on this one. So this is just a simple question. Home, space, see. I want your opinion, Joshua, on where you think realistically.
the world ending disaster is going to come from? Is it going to be nuclear holocaust? Is it going to be an asteroid from space? Or is it going to be a tsunami that wipes out everybody?
So that's just what I just wanted your opinion on that. Where do you think like it's going to come from?
Not Drake's Josh (39:30.702)
So what am I? So my options are nuclear war at home.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (39:37.449)
Yeah, or it could be like civil war, right? Something world ending, right? But in the terms of like we caused it, right? Or is it going to be galactic like comet or just the sun exploding or the sea taking over the earth? You know, I just want your opinion on where you think humanity, everything, everybody dead. Yeah, how do we get wiped up? Where do you think?
Not Drake's Josh (39:42.615)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (39:56.367)
We're talking about humanity or just like things. Okay humanity like how humans get fucking wiped away
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (40:07.451)
What do you think causes us? Really?
Not Drake's Josh (40:07.614)
pretty easy. I think it's an easy one. This is, yeah, I think this is pretty easy. I think definitely we're going to get hit by a comet. I think galactically we are on a pool table. think we're sitting on a pool table. Earth is on a pool table right now and there's a bunch of balls bouncing off the walls. are getting, you know, the sun's throwing some of these things out.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (40:19.355)
Whoa, okay.
Not Drake's Josh (40:32.364)
The sun's capturing some Jupiter's hooking us up. Jupiter's like our big brother. If you don't know, Jupiter really protects us from a lot of these giant asteroids. It gobbles them up and sucks them into the planet. Yeah, a Jupiter? Without Jupiter, we would be fucked in many ways. yeah, Jupiter's our big... Jupiter is the buff person backing us up on the field right now. But it's...
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (40:35.883)
Hehehe.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (40:45.525)
just out there gobbling them up and just sucking them off.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (41:00.523)
Dang it.
Not Drake's Josh (41:01.194)
It's not going to take much for this tiny little planet to get wiped out by something, you know, a half a mile wide, you know, in the right kind of conditions, you know, something only a hundred feet, you know, just something landing over a major city just completely wipes out San Francisco, completely wipes out LA, Tokyo, anywhere. Just pick some of these major cities that are influence. mean, it's over. And if it hits in the ocean, guaranteed.
Tsunami sweeping across the planet. so I think size does matter in this situation, but I think we're going to, we're on a galactic pool table and, we're going to get hit and you're either going to be a lucky one. It lands on your house. So you just say, you know, goodbye. Like you don't gotta worry about the fallout of trying to find food and eating your cat, you know, like, sorry.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (41:38.026)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (41:56.963)
You know, you talk to people like, I'm never gonna eat my dog while just wait till you're starving and then you'll, you know, you'll figure it out. You know, you can't eat the bark off all the trees around your house. You're gonna have to eat something at some point. Yeah. You can't chew on rocks like I've tried to. It's not gonna work, but I think, I think it's coming from space, man. Yeah. Cosmic.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (42:06.827)
Gross.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (42:13.749)
Alright, so you think cosmic. Okay, you think cosmic before anything happens here at home. Interesting. Yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (42:20.386)
Yeah, because mutually assured destruction, would be nuclear, I don't think anybody wants to live that way or any ruler of me. I think people like their the way they live, man. I think the planet's beautiful and nobody wants to just blow it up unless there's a complete psycho, which they're out there, but.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (42:33.246)
Yeah, good point. Good point.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (42:38.987)
Always possible, you know, always possible.
Not Drake's Josh (42:42.958)
Yeah, think the comments gonna get us. think that is what's really gonna change our lives. For sure. What about you?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (42:47.933)
Okay. All right. Cool. I mean, I I'm on the the home front on this one. I think we are going to do something before nature does something, you know, I always but I've always felt that way, you know, like I've always felt that we're going to fuck something up because that's just human nature, you know, to fuck things up. So that's that's the front I'm on. I'm on that home front. Second following space.
Not Drake's Josh (43:10.158)
Mm-hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (43:17.599)
because space, she's scary. It's just open play there, man. Like, yeah, you're right. And something could just come whammin' through. And you've seen it recently when NASA discovered that one asteroid and then they didn't know the percentages on that one. Like, those are scientists figuring out those numbers and they couldn't get it right, you know? So, be.
Not Drake's Josh (43:30.594)
Mm-hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (43:39.854)
Yeah, correct. And these things don't have to be big. They do not have to be big to really create destruction.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (43:44.945)
no. Yeah. To do damage and yeah, to screw up somebody's life. but yeah, I think for me it's the home front and then it's space and then it's C. So we'll see. Get it. We'll see.
Not Drake's Josh (43:56.493)
Yeah, yeah, I mean I mean if I could just say one more thing on this I think when it comes down to ancient civilizations most of them have been wiped out by Some sort of cataclysm, you know, I don't think back in the Egyptian like there weren't fighting with nuclear bombs You know, I you know as much as they wanted to chew, know Beat each other up and take over land and just conquer everything. I think the one thing that destroyed humanity in ancient societies
was something from space. It wasn't something that we did to each other, like the Romans conquered, sure people just chew each other up, but the one thing, the deciding factor for all humans is something from outside of this planet that will just wipe us all out.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (44:43.403)
Okay, I feel that. Yeah, truest words have been spoken by Joshua everybody. There you go That was it. It's all I had on that one. So let's move on to your Fireflop 2.0 And can I just say I did remember one thing Joshua. I did remember one thing for the
Not Drake's Josh (44:54.126)
Fireflop. Alright.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (45:05.247)
Well, what the hell was I thinking about right now? Yeah, motorboat. For the housekeeping corner, that's the one I was thinking about. Last week, we lost some topics and I just want to say I apologize on that. That's a that is a that is my fault on that one. take full responsibility and full blame. So I'm sorry that you missed the conversation about Minecraft in its entirety. And I think Joshua was talking about playing God.
Not Drake's Josh (45:06.669)
Motorboat?
Not Drake's Josh (45:13.452)
Okay.
Not Drake's Josh (45:19.722)
We did. Yeah, we did.
Not Drake's Josh (45:34.094)
Shit did I Jesus?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (45:34.603)
So I will say this though. You can see the whole transcript of that episode Including what we lost. I'm sorry for little laid out live. It's in there. You go ahead and read it like a novel. So That's that's all I got. That's all I got. Sorry fire flop 2.0. Bring it on
Not Drake's Josh (45:53.411)
Yeah, Fireflop 2.0. Sean, do you remember the... people, depending on how old you are, do you remember the fire festival that happened?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (46:04.851)
I do with Ja Rule was one of the one of the people sponsoring that.
Not Drake's Josh (46:07.086)
Right, do you ever? Yeah, do you remember the fire festival? Guess what? They're are having a fire festival part two
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (46:13.355)
you
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (46:19.307)
I don't believe that. I don't believe that in the slightest. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. You can't have something be so terrible and then go, haha, boy, there's more. Like that's not how that works. And it's not how that works.
Not Drake's Josh (46:21.038)
part two.
Not Drake's Josh (46:34.766)
Well, Sean, guess what? They're at this is an existence. I'm not pitching their website at all. And I'm highly do not recommend anybody going to this fucking thing. Sorry. fire festival 2.0 it's probably going to fucking fail again. It's supposed to take place in Cancun in which I guess the Mexico Mexican government has not even acknowledged the fact that this is going to happen. But yet they're releasing like documents saying like they've approved the site.
Over there and and like it's going to happen So just for some numbers sake if you go to their website right now for the second fire festival Ticket prices right now. You could buy these tickets right now tickets are ranging from $1400 for the basic package. I guess that's a bologna sandwich and fucking herpes or some shit all the way up to the 1.1 million dollar package where I guess
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (47:09.941)
Mm-hmm.
Not Drake's Josh (47:32.921)
Diddy somehow gets out of jail and comes in. Yeah, right in the butt. Sorry, I edited myself on that one. So. So you could buy this. You can literally buy these tickets right now. And I feel very, very sorry for anybody who pays for this because for me once, shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me. But.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (47:40.573)
it.
Not Drake's Josh (48:00.079)
If you're out there thinking about doing this, know our audience isn't that big, you're gonna get screwed over again. So please, spend some money on your family, adopt a fucking pet, and don't do this shit.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (48:12.243)
No, Joshua. No, no. Listen, listen to me right now, everybody. If you do this, you're the best. You are the top percent. I actually want you to do this. I want you to go out there and do this because it's what you deserve. You worked hard for that money and you deserve to go out there and do fun things. Also, because if you do this, you're a fucking idiot and we need less of you on the planet. So,
Not Drake's Josh (48:21.582)
Jesus.
Not Drake's Josh (48:39.352)
Yeah, it's true.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (48:41.771)
There's that but yeah go out there do it buy some tickets go see jaw rule diddy Whoever may show up, you know Do it Make my day,
Not Drake's Josh (48:55.308)
I guess so, yeah. Jesus Christ. That's all I had to say about that, man. mean, it's ha- it's supposed to be, it's supposed to be coming again. but don't fucking do it. Watch the Netflix special that they did on this thing, cause it was a complete shit show. And, as of right now, it's supposed to happen in Cancun, but just don't, don't spend $1,400 on that shit.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (48:57.919)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (49:09.374)
you
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (49:19.403)
There you go. Hey Joshua before we start landing this plane as we say I want to talk to you about something that by the time this comes out It won't probably be relevant or maybe it's worse But did you see the the ladies the what is it the blue? Astronauts with what do they call? I don't remember what they call them. I'm sorry. It was something blue No, can't honestly I can't remember someone fact-check me whatever
Not Drake's Josh (49:37.964)
I did.
Not Drake's Josh (49:42.919)
Not blue origins? No. I don't know. Don't fuck it up.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (49:49.085)
What I wanted to talk about is all of the flack that Katy Perry is getting because when they landed, she decided to kiss the earth. Have you have you seen all these memes? OK, there there are a bunch of memes grilling her about the two astronauts who were up in the space station for nine months. And then Katy Perry comes down in 11 hours and kisses the ground.
Not Drake's Josh (49:59.479)
did see that. No, I haven't. I'm not a meme guy. No.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (50:18.961)
You know, just funny. So I wanted to just get lips to dirt, baby. Lips to dirt. Yeah. Praising the Lord, you know, giving her. I'm sure the question I had for you, Joshua, is does she deserve all the flack? You know, does she deserve all the flack?
Not Drake's Josh (50:20.844)
So was it like lips to dirt? It was lips to dirt.
Not Drake's Josh (50:29.374)
I mean, I'm sure she's kissed dirtier things, but you know, it's Katy Perry.
Sorry, Katie.
Not Drake's Josh (50:40.172)
I people kiss the dirt for you know all types of reasons but to get to be I mean I don't know is that publicity you know what I mean like like when she stepped out of the door and saw all the cameras and like all that shit like was it kind of what is she gonna come out with some campaign later like let's save the earth and let's save the planet and she's gonna show her kissing the ground like is this some kind of like
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (50:50.143)
Yeah, that's the thing, you know, that's the thing.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (51:00.554)
Not Drake's Josh (51:04.706)
Media ploy, you know later she's building on this. This is the foundation of kissing the ground and then praying homage to how much she loves. You know what I mean? Maybe this is part of a tour. This is the beginning of her tour.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (51:14.655)
Yeah. See, I could think, see, this is, you're kind of onto something I was thinking about because there was an article recently stating that her, concert ticket sales have been super low, right? Maybe this is just a ploy to get people coming back, you know? So I could see that for sure. I also kind of think it might've been just like a spar of the moment kind of thing. Like just
Not Drake's Josh (51:28.43)
Mm-hmm.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (51:42.173)
spontaneous, you know, like you saw cameras and you're just like, what the hell do astronauts do? And you go, they kiss the ground. They kiss the ground. And then they learn how to walk again. know, apparently they can't apparently they have like Joshua weird, weird, weird fact on this one real fast. apparently when astronauts come back after being up there for so long, their feet are as smooth as baby skin, like just real soft and supple. So I just wanted to,
Not Drake's Josh (51:49.518)
They learn how to walk again and they eat food and they fucking They grow again like real astronauts. Yeah, like
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (52:12.053)
throw that out there for the feet crowd. I don't know if it's worth the price of learning to walk again, but.
Not Drake's Josh (52:13.014)
I mean is that worth the price of bunions? know what I mean? your bone loss? like you know what I mean? Muscle mass? Like you're literally dying in space exposed to cancerous radiation and all this shit and yet you got baby smooth feet? I mean come on like...
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (52:25.513)
Mm-hmm.
long period of time, yeah.
Yeah, is it worth it? I don't know man. I don't know.
Not Drake's Josh (52:35.554)
Pros and cons on my whiteboard and feet like that. I'll give that up I'll just go to the fucking you know massage parlor. Let him rub on them for a little bit. You know
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (52:43.371)
my god, anyway to conclude the thought I had on that I don't think she deserves all the flak she's getting But it is definitely funny to see the memes. So there's that I just wanted to kind of just put my mind somewhere and to be continued We'll see what happens Joshua, let's land this plane. Let's give the people what we usually do, which is a fortune some lucky numbers and You know your ending monologue, which usually is either good or it's not
Not Drake's Josh (52:54.798)
Okay, to be continued.
Not Drake's Josh (53:12.418)
Terrible. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (53:13.003)
It's definitely 50-50. It is what the people want to listen to.
Not Drake's Josh (53:16.014)
I think it's more like 30 70 70 30 like I'm not a math guy, but it's usually sucks But before I give the the the monologue I have to show my fun find off Because it's not really a fun find if it takes fucking like five months to fucking get here Sorry for so many f-bombs, but I've been waiting on this son of a you know, what since October
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (53:38.889)
my god.
Not Drake's Josh (53:44.493)
I pre-ordered this thing. Yeah. I, since Halloween, it showed up on my buy it now and pre-order and like, I was super pumped. I thought I was going to be in on the bottom floor. I felt all excited about this shit and sorry, for whoever who made this with their little hands and me just ranting on whatever. But, I finally got my boulders gate Funko pop.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (53:45.035)
since October.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (54:11.151)
nice! Okay, very cool man.
Not Drake's Josh (54:16.226)
I finally got this and this fun little Funko pop right here took forever to get. I'm not a boulders gate fan. I know there's a huge following behind boulders gate, but I thought it was really cool because it has this little bear. But yeah, it took me forever to get this right here and I'm just happy I finally got it because Sean actually told me to cancel this order and I didn't. He's like, get your money back.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (54:40.491)
This would be what I would like to call a false advertising because it took so goddamn long But I'm happy you got it because imagine if you didn't we'd just be waiting forever in the wings like kind of how I'm like waiting to see the shirt that I was given but you know, there's that
Not Drake's Josh (54:53.25)
Yeah, yeah, so that's my.
Not Drake's Josh (54:58.09)
that's yeah, maybe next episode. We'll get to that. Yeah, so that's my fun. It would have been a fun find fucking four months ago, but Jesus Christ So yeah, that's that is that Do you me to the cookie? Do I show the card you want to show off your fun fine first? Okay
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (55:05.661)
You
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (55:11.243)
I'll show my little fun find first. Let me I gotta slow it down for the people Because Joshua gets mad at me when I don't slow down my little spinning thing, but that's right. Here is my Here's my fun find for the week in honor of stitch being released sometime this year and the Alien t-shirt that I'm wearing. This is what they call a concept art Funko
Not Drake's Josh (55:20.408)
We can't see it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (55:39.837)
So this is a concept art of Stitch, right? That they created into a Funko pop. And this is a Funko exclusive because on this podcast, it's either chase exclusives or nothing bust baby or signatures. I mean, that's usually what it is, but there you go. There he is looking beautiful in his entirety. I love him. He's amazing. You a fan of Stitch, Joshua?
Not Drake's Josh (55:59.332)
Beautiful.
Not Drake's Josh (56:04.354)
I've never seen it actually.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (56:06.539)
Well, I think we have to end this podcast because Joshua is a failure in life. hmm, okay. All right. I guess that shuts down that question. Anyways, that's my Funko for the week, buddy. But yeah, let's do, let's do some fortunes.
Not Drake's Josh (56:15.982)
Yeah, I've never seen it. Hmm, there.
Not Drake's Josh (56:22.382)
Very nice.
Alright some fortunes. So last week we did the good old fortunes against humanity which have been kind of, I had to literally edit myself when I read that shit which was not very fun. And then there's the dirty dozen but I think because we have so many of the fortunes against humanity I think we gotta pull from this. I think we gotta pull from this man.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (56:48.757)
Do we really? This is like, these are so bad. Ugh.
Not Drake's Josh (56:51.149)
I mean...
Not Drake's Josh (56:54.968)
So don't do, I mean, can we get a vote?
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (56:56.459)
I mean if you want a sad ending to an episode, sure go for it. Pull it. Pull it.
Not Drake's Josh (57:03.334)
We'll go with dirty. We gotta go with dirty. It's been so fun. It's been a fun episode so far and Yeah, yeah, so thank you guys for listening. Thank you for watching Maybe I'll just get my closing monologue while I open this thing right now because it seems to be easier to do it that way
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (57:08.203)
This episode has been wonderful, a lovely episode. Hopefully.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (57:17.131)
Okay.
Sure buddy. Joshua, the stage is yours. Let the people know what to expect this week or what you want them to do. Where, where are where do you congregate?
Not Drake's Josh (57:28.061)
I said what I had to say her anything. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening Visit the website a little bit of housekeeping there Play the fucking music play it loud and know your parents just bump that shit Let me get into this cookie right here, man
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (57:38.187)
There you go. There you go. Good job, buddy. Yeah. Go for
Not Drake's Josh (57:45.59)
Alright, so this is a long one. We've reached the point of the episode where words get difficult.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (57:50.155)
Do you need to pre- do you want me to- you want me to vamp and you can pre-read and like get it right the first time? Okay, alright. No, fine. Fuck. No, that's fine. That's fine. I try to get- It's a public school. That's why I'm asking if you need time to read.
Not Drake's Josh (57:54.519)
No, no, no, I mean I could I could read it twice. I mean I went to public school like I could figure this shit out man You know I Mean my at my grade point averages was like a d-minus, you know, so I could I should be able to get these words out
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (58:10.795)
Hey, these get degrees,
Not Drake's Josh (58:14.734)
Okay, here we go. your dirty dozen for this 80 cent, I know right, Sean's already laughing. The words man, my glad, Jack got to me. It only took 58 minutes. It's almost 59 minutes. Let me get this shit out man. Hey, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. Let me get this fortune out please. All right, here we go. Here is your fortune for April.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (58:21.451)
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (58:27.825)
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. All right, go. I'm ready. I'm ready. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Sorry.
Not Drake's Josh (58:43.796)
22nd episode 82 your dreams of seducing a virgin come true with an electric engineering major my god you know when there's more than two lines it gets complicated guys it gets it gets I electric engineering
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (59:07.083)
The running joke, everybody, if you've never seen us before, listened to us before, the running joke is that Joshua has difficulty reading off of scripts, papers, anything really. And every week I think to myself, this is the week Joshua is going to nail reading off of this paper. Right? Granted, Joshua's reading off a really tiny fortune. Right? So it's kind of hard to see.
Not Drake's Josh (59:20.067)
I
Not Drake's Josh (59:26.963)
You
Not Drake's Josh (59:32.514)
Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (59:37.599)
But every week I think to myself, he's going to do it. He's going to do it. He's going to do it. And then he gets through about halfway and then you get electric.
Not Drake's Josh (59:41.486)
You
Not Drake's Josh (59:45.199)
He's not lying. He's not lying. I mean this is how it goes. Should I try again? Should I try again? I mean... It literally as always it fucking is. I'll probably fuck it up again, but we'll try again. Alright here we go. Your dreams of producing a virgin come true with an electrical engineering major named Percy.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (59:50.547)
Yahshua, as always, give us the fortune one more time.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (59:59.914)
here we-
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:00:11.573)
I don't understand that one, be honest with you.
Not Drake's Josh (01:00:12.704)
I don't either. That's why halfway through I fucked it up because it didn't make sense.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:00:21.771)
I don't know. Somebody explain that to me. I'm probably just brain dead at this point.
Not Drake's Josh (01:00:25.838)
Percy? I mean who's Percy? I mean I don't know. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:00:29.675)
I don't know. Is that like an innuendo for like vagina? I don't know, dude. Those cookies are so garbage. I hate them. I hate those fucking cookies.
Not Drake's Josh (01:00:33.866)
I think so. I think it's supposed to. Yeah.
Alright, that was a dirty one, that's supposed to be fun, but... There you go. There's your fortune, everybody. Or whatever the fuck that is. Or was.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:00:47.979)
Thank you, buddy. Let me give everybody their lucky numbers. You can use these lucky numbers for whatever you want. There's seven of them. Feel free to use them for whatever nefarious reasons you would like. And they are as followed, 6, 10, 12, 18, 19, 25 and 28. Once again, those lucky numbers are 6, 10, 12, 18, 19, 25 and 28. Use them as you please.
Joshua, we have come.
Not Drake's Josh (01:01:19.47)
Hey.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:01:21.461)
To the end of the episode everybody, we are landing the plane. The stewardess are telling you to put your trays in the upright position and get ready for landing. Buddy, I know you gave your monologue through a section of stories and things like that, but do you have anything left to say to the people? One last time.
Not Drake's Josh (01:01:24.002)
I think I said, yeah, yeah.
Not Drake's Josh (01:01:39.095)
I No, I think I, I mean, I think I said what I had to say. I'm glad we got the housekeeping out of the way in the very beginning because there are a few of you out there that are interested in the merch and, the website, like Sean said, is going live. We're going to have that for purchase to support the podcast, to support the community. like I said, we appreciate all you guys. Let's keep growing. Let's get bigger. Let's grow every day. love all you guys.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:02:07.317)
weird.
Just the way you said, let's grow bigger. Sorry. didn't mean to ruin your monologue. I just thought that was weird. The way you said it. You're right. I'm sorry, Mia.
Not Drake's Josh (01:02:12.824)
Let's grow bigger.
I mean, I don't know. Hey Mia, just bleep all that out, please. There you go. Love all you guys.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:02:23.915)
Thank you, buddy. I appreciate you. Like Joshua said, thank you for watching. Thank you for listening because I got all the housekeeping out in the beginning. I have nothing else to say on this. So since you made it this far, hey, congratulations. here. This is probably the best episode we've done in like three episodes. So thank you. Thank you for being here. This shirt.
It's probably my favorite one of the shirts next to the ocean, babe. Just saying I can't have favorites. It's like children, right? You fucking designed them all. You can't just like one of them. No, I like this one. This one's good. I love it. Maybe that means this is kind of say something real quick. Just can I just say, can I just say. These shirts are amazing. These shirts are soft, they're supple, they fit good like, they're just nice, they're just good.
Not Drake's Josh (01:03:03.522)
Yeah, go for it.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:03:16.235)
quality material just like us good quality material Joshua and you know what else buddy you know what else man you know fuck I've been I just been Jones and buddy I just been Jones and to tell you this dude
Not Drake's Josh (01:03:21.484)
Absolutely true. Yeah.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:03:31.593)
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
Not Drake's Josh (01:03:35.246)
I literally have no idea.
Sean Connery's Stunt Double (01:03:40.971)
A little horse.
Ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you next week. Have a great week, everybody. We'll be back soon. Deuces.
